Biochemistry Unveiled: Explore the Science of Avoidant Attachment

avoidant attachment

Before we explore the fascinating world of how biochemistry influences the avoidant attachment style,  I encourage you to first immerse yourself in my insightful YouTube video titled “Biochemistry of Avoidant Attachment Style.” This captivating video lays the foundation for a deeper understanding of the complex dynamics at play in interpersonal relationships.


Just watched the video? Great! 

Images and videos can help your brain understand complex topics like the profound interplay between neurobiology and attachment psychology much better. So, grab your favorite beverage, settle into a comfortable spot, and let’s get down to the details and understand how our brains actually form these connections.





People want love in their lives by design, it helps us connect, feel fulfilled, safe, and secure. But for some, it’s a significant challenge to feel close and experience love, let alone reciprocate it.  As an attachment specialist, my focus is on shedding light on intricate realms such as avoidant attachment – its prevalence, impact, biochemistry and most importantly, its fixable nature.



The Prevalence:


Research indicates that an estimated 25% of Americans exhibit avoidant attachment style traits. This figure surpasses conventional understandings, portraying an epidemic that affects both men and, increasingly, women. This rise in avoidant attachment underscores the urgent need for understanding and intervention.



Understanding Avoidant Attachment:


Avoidant attachment roots itself in childhood experiences lacking in nurturing and secure bonding. From childhood into adulthood, individuals adopt defensive mechanisms to evade vulnerability, conflict, and emotional intimacy.



Biochemistry of Avoidant Attachment:


Delving deeper, it’s crucial to explore the biochemistry underpinning avoidant attachment. Five crucial brain chemicals – oxytocin, GABA, vasopressin, serotonin, and dopamine – play significant roles in fostering secure connections. Deficiencies in oxytocin and GABA, coupled with heightened dopamine-seeking behaviors, perpetuate a cycle of emotional detachment and dissatisfaction in relationships.


Understanding the interplay of the five aforementioned key brain chemicals is extremely helpful in understanding the emotional, mental, and biochemical landscape of avoidantly attached individuals.



Oxytocin – The Warmth of Connection:


  • Oxytocin, often referred to as the “bonding hormone,” plays a fundamental role in fostering feelings of warmth, trust, and connection. However, individuals with avoidant attachment may have experienced limited exposure to oxytocin during childhood, depriving them of the comforting sense of safety and acceptance associated with this hormone. When our brains don’t release oxytocin during bonding experiences, it can be harder to feel close to others and we might avoid getting too involved with people.



GABA – Stress Reduction:


  • Gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), an inhibitory neurotransmitter, serves as a potent regulator of stress and anxiety. By modulating the release of cortisol, the stress hormone, GABA effectively reduces feelings of anxiety and distress. However, individuals with avoidant attachment may exhibit deficiencies in GABA, making them more susceptible to chronic stress and heightened emotional reactivity. Consequently, this deficit in GABAergic function can make them feel more stressed out and overwhelmed by emotions, which can further strengthen their desire to stay away from close connections.


Low GABA Can Mean More Than Just Stress

GABA’s role extends beyond stress reduction. It also influences sleep quality and muscle relaxation. Individuals with avoidant attachment may experience disruptions in sleep patterns and muscle tension due to inadequate GABAergic activity. This can make them feel even more uneasy and on edge, contributing to the cycle of unease  and emotional dysregulation.



Vasopressin – Problem Solving:


  • Vasopressin, a neuropeptide hormone, is instrumental in promoting social bonding and facilitating collaborative problem-solving. However, individuals with avoidant attachment styles may exhibit diminished vasopressin activity, stemming from early experiences of relational insecurity and distrust. Consequently, they may adopt avoidance strategies to steer clear of arguments and strong emotions to avoid getting hurt, making it even harder for them to build strong, lasting relationships.



Serotonin – Social Connection:


  • Serotonin, often dubbed the “happiness hormone,” plays a crucial role in regulating mood, social behavior, and emotional well-being. Optimal serotonin levels are associated with feelings of contentment, social engagement, and interpersonal warmth. However, individuals with avoidant attachment may experience disruptions in serotonin signaling, leading to mood disturbances, social withdrawal, and diminished satisfaction in relationships.


Seeking a High: How Serotonin Affects Attachment

Moreover, serotonin deficiency may manifest in heightened impulsivity and risk-taking behavior. Those with avoidant attachment styles, who crave connection but fear getting hurt, might subconsciously seek alternative ways to fill the emotional void through alternative sources of gratification like substance abuse or reckless activities, undermining the formation of secure attachments and reinforcing the cycle of emotional detachment.



Dopamine – The Constant Craving:


  • Dopamine, often referred to as the “reward neurotransmitter,” plays a central role in mediating pleasure, motivation, and reward-seeking behavior. Avoidantly attached individuals may exhibit heightened dopaminergic activity, characterized by a tendency for novelty-seeking and sensation-seeking behaviors.
    However, this relentless pursuit of dopamine-driven rewards can trigger a cycle of emotional volatility and dissatisfaction, as individuals struggle to attain sustained feelings of fulfillment and connection. Moreover, excessive dopamine stimulation may exacerbate feelings of restlessness, impulsivity, and emotional detachment, further perpetuating the cycle of avoidant behavior in relationships.



Biochemistry and the Decline of Connection:


As relationships progress, avoidantly attached individuals confront the diminishing returns of dopamine-driven novelty. The absence of secure bonding and mutual vulnerability leads to a decline in emotional connection, often manifesting as disinterest, withdrawal, or even infidelity.



The Fixable Nature:


Contrary to popular belief, avoidant attachment is not a lifelong sentence. Through intentional efforts to cultivate secure attachment, individuals can transcend survival-driven behaviors and embrace fulfilling relationships. A roadmap for overcoming avoidant attachment includes filtering trustworthy individuals, fostering open communication, and nurturing mutual reciprocity.



A Message for Avoidant Individuals:


To those wrestling with avoidant attachment, I offer a warm hand of assurance and understanding.  I know the dance of wanting closeness but fearing rejection. Change is possible, and even small steps towards secure attachment can unlock a world of connection and fulfillment. Join me today and take the first step towards a life of joy and fulfillment. Secure connections can enrich your life in ways you might not imagine. 





In unraveling the complexities of avoidant attachment, understanding the roots, mechanisms, and biochemical underpinnings is key. By embarking on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, individuals can transcend survival instincts to embrace the profound joy of secure connections. Our previous blog post, emotional intimacy offered a foundational understanding of emotional connection so make sure to give it a read. If you’re looking for a more visual exploration, check out this helpful video on YouTube: “What Is EMOTIONAL INTIMACY?,.


Remember, with self-awareness and a willingness to learn, secure connections are within reach. 


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